Dr. Pepper & Cheese Doritos!

Sept 30, 2007

MMMM, how I LOVE my Dr. Pepper in the morning!!! It has been my beverage of choice first thing every morning since I was in High School.

And this morning they brought me, Dr Pepper, Cheese Doritos AND M&M's!!! What more could a girl want!!!

I feel a "speedy" recovery in my near future!!!

I should get out of ICU today and go to a regular room!! And hopefully get out of the hospital tomorrow!!!!

There have been no more seizures or pain. And I am feeling stronger everyday, thanks to my Dr. Pepper. "Just what the Dr. ordered". =)

What a SCAR!!!!!!! Not for the faint at heart

Sept 31, 2007

HOLY COW!!!! I woke up early this morning and my bandage was lose on my head. So thought I would just take a glance at the "hole in my head"!

YIKES!!! It is HUGE!!!!! I thought maybe a 4 inch circle, but NO, it is this HUGE L on the top of my head!

Now, that's going to leave a mark!!!

Hmm, what can L stand for? "loser", "loco", .... "loved by God". Yeah, I will go with the last one!!!

Hope my hair grows back!

Havey has left the BRAIN!!!!

Journal entry Sept 30, 2007

The surgery is over and a HUGE success!!!

Wow, here I sit in the hospital 2 days after the surgery - feeling really good. No pain meds! My head is shaved (in the middle) and I have 27 metal staples in my head.

I just had BRAIN SURGERY!!!! Holy cow!!!! Other than being really weak, and having tons of holes and lines in me, I feel "normal".

Heidi has been right beside me. Looking out for me. Taking such GREAT care of me. She so wanted to stay with me in ICU, but they wouldn't let her. I wish she could have been here. Especially the 1st night, which was the worst!!!

I was in so much pain all night long. Thank God Michelle left me her ipod which I listened to Paper Route (my new favorite band) and Chris Tomlin ALL NIGHT LONG!!!

Then the next morning I felt a seizure coming on. So I buzzed the nurse. NO ONE CAME!!! It began in my foot and was moving up my leg and I was afraid it would result in a full blown seizure and I didn't want my head to be flailing around. I started yelling for the nurse, still NO ONE CAME!!! At least 10 minutes had gone by, when someone finally came. The nurse told me it wasn't a seizure. But I KNEW what a seizure felt like, I had 3 of them before.

She gave me medication and the seizure subsided.

When Michelle came to visit me at the 9:00am visitation time, I started crying. I was so scared that here I was in ICU and felt the nurses were not taking care of me.

Two other things happened that same night. 1. When my pain got really bad, I buzzed for the nurse and no one came for 15 minutes. When she did come in, she said my bed was not plugged in. 2. Since I had been on a respirators, I had to remember to breath. All night the alarm on my monitor would go off because I wasn't breathing right, and no one came.

So by the time Heidi came in to see me that morning, and I told her what happened, SHE WAS ALL OVER IT!!!! She talked to the nurses, called Dr. Hampf's office and needless to say, they took amazing care of me afterwards!!! I call her my "pit bull". Don't mess with her or her sister!!! =)

This was the first time I felt any fear. Even in pre-op when I was waiting for 3 hours for my surgery. There was no fear.

Sheryl and Maynard flew in from Dallas just to see me for 30 minutes that morning after my surgery! Wow, that blows me away.

My brother Karl and Becky were here too. They came up the night before the surgery. We all ate Sushi for my "last supper". I don't know what I would do without my family.

I feel bad that my family and friends are here, and they can only come to visit me every 3 hours for 30 minutes. They have all sacrificed so much to be here for me.

Thank you God for all these amazing people you have put in my life!!!!!!

Sept 27, 2007 Day of the Surgery

From Journal Entry: Sept 27, 2007 5:00am

Wow, today is D day or should I say "T" Day (tumor day). Harvey Spalding (we named the tumor, Spalding because it is the size of a tennis ball) is getting evicted today!!!

And here I am, right where this whole thing began, at Michelle's house, sitting on her screened in porch!

The rain is slowly falling and it almost has a rhythm to it. It is so soothing.

Huh, still no fear. I don't have that "Oh, I have to prepare myself" kind of feeling.

I just see Him more glorified with my full speedy recovery.

God if there is one thing I can ask, that I glorify you! Make people see YOU in all of this!!!!

God, you soooo know this is not me! This is not my natural reaction to anything bad that comes in my life. I am such a wimp. I first doubt you, blame you, get angry at you. What have you done to me?

I keep going back to the beginning, Ephesians 6!

"When I don't know what is around the bend in the road, YOU have let me KNOW that YOU are already there"

Lord, you have consumed my heart and mind with YOUR peace! I feel so humbled by your presence, your love and Wow your grace!

I never, never, never want to go back, I never want to neglect you, your word or your work again!

Lord, this whole thing has bee a GIFT from you. (there are many lessons, but this one rings out loud) that you are doing this to remind me that you love me. It is selfish of me to want that more than life. But Lord, if I KNOW you love me, there is nothing I will not do for you. And Wow, Lord we got some pretty big things ahead of us.

We got a lot of kids to feed and love in Uganda. Oh, (tears now) those precious kids prayed and fasted for me.... I know you want to show them too that you love them and hear their prayers and have answered them and that YOU HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN THEM!!!

Forgive me Lord for the years I flat out ignored you. I gave up on us, I gave up on You, and yet you NEVER gave up on me!

I feel like I am the favorite child, (yet you treat us all like that, huh!) You would do this for me. Wow, that just blows me away!

Keep my eyes fixed on You, keep my heart close to yours, keep my mind stayed on YOU!!!

Back to Nashville for surgery

Journal entry: Sept 26, 2007

I'm in Memphis driving back to Nashville with my sister Heidi, who is here for 1 month to take care of me.

Surgery is tomorrow! Wow, what a wild 2 weeks!

Monday was a real test of faith day. Cassandra with the Finance Dept at Baptist Hospital called me. She said the surgery would be denied because I didn't have insurance or any way to pay for my surgery.

My heart raced and my head swam with doubts and fears and anxiety!

I called Dr Hampf's office (my surgeon) and talked to Cynthia, who didn't understand the problem, since they had worked all of that out with the hospital before I left Nashville the first time. She would call the Finance people at the hospital.

I felt I had done everything I could do. And now it was out of my control. So I sat outside at noon until 2:00pm. Just reminding myself all God had done, how He led me to Nashville, to Michelle's, to the Hospital, to the Surgeon, EVERYTHING He had done for me to get this surgery. He wasn't now going to abandon me.

I no more walked back into my apartment when Cassandra called me back to say, "The surgery is ON!!!!"

Later I talked to Michelle, and said how I can trust God with everything EXCEPT my finances. And we both KNEW this was a lesson God was trying to teach me now.

The surgery is tomorrow! There is no fear in my heart. I am not worried about it. God, you have laid the pavers and I am just following them step by step.

Sept 17 Email to all friends

Hey friends, I am back in Dallas and just went through ALL of my emails from each one of you. Tears flooded my eyes as I could feel the love and prayers flow off the page right into my heart. I cannot even express what all this has meant to me.

Now this email IS actually from my own hands. The previous one that was sent out was by Michelle, my friend in Nashville who took such amazing care of me. (if any of you are ever in the hospital or have a tumor, you HAVE to call her, she was a God sent.)

Okay, updates:
1. will be in dallas until the surgery.
2. staying with my awesome friends Tammy & Kevin Whitaker (they are taking GREAT care of me)
3. Heidi my sister flys to dallas next Monday and she will be with me until I am completely recovered
4. Pre op is sept 27 at 8:00am
5. surgery & head shaving is 1:00pm on sept 27
6. I will be in the hospital for 4-6 days
7. recovery is 4-6 weeks. Location on recovery will be Nashville, then back to dallas as soon as I can travel
8. currently there have been NO seizures since Thursday
9. My right side is still numb but can walk, just can’t type too well =) No roller blading or sky diving for a while
10. My memory is a little fuzzy, but hey that could be cuz I am getting old. =)

Ultimately God has given me such peace. I know He will see me through this.

“I may not be able to see beyond the bend in the road, but I know GOD is already THERE!!!!!!!!!”

Prayer requests:
1. Pray for Rose in Uganda. She is taking this very hard. Pray God would continue HIS work in those children.
2. Pray for my mom as we decide when to tell her. Her health is weak and don’t want to worry her
3. Pray my shakes, trimmers and numbness would subside
4. My eyes, thoughts and heart would be steadfast; especially in the middle of the night when doubts arise.

Thank you all again. I am flooded with emotions of gratitude and overwhelmed by all of your prayers, calls, desire to help, going above and beyond. This is the BODY of CHRIST!!!!!!!

I love you & aloha

Cindy

Sept 14 prayer email from Sheryl

Good Morning all, I got a call late last night with this update on Cindy.

First, she is being cared for very well. Her friend in Nashville, Michelle, is right by her side and the staff at the hospital has been wonderful. In addition, Janet Matyas’ brother lives in Nashville; he and his wife were able to go by the hospital to encourage her on our behalf. I guess it was sort of like the Journey devotional this morning when Paul sent Timothy to strengthen and encourage when he could not be there himself. Thanks be to God for blessing her with people around her like this.

Second, as of last night, Cindy was still in the ICU at Nashville Baptist Hospital. The tumor is on the left side of her brain and covers approximately ¼ of her brain. The doctors feel fairly confident that the tumor is not cancer and feel very positive about the surgery to remove it. Post-op recovery is estimated to be 4-6 weeks, with a hopeful prognosis for increased thinking, energy, and functionality skill after the operation. The doctor told Cindy she has probably been facing gradual degradation in those areas without realizing it based on the size and location of the tumor. Cindy has become very comfortable with the doctor in Nashville, who has a very good reputation, so she is planning to have the surgery done there and she will most likely recovery at home with Michelle during the 4-6 weeks post-op.

However, this doctor can not perform the surgery until the week of 9/24. Given the facts I have already mentioned, they are not concerned about this amount of delay. If they feel comfortable they have the seizures under control, and it appears they do, they will probably release Cindy from the hospital this weekend.

In addition to the seizure medication, she will also be given steroids to take to try to shrink the tumor as much as possible before the surgery. At this point, Cindy’s brother is planning to drive to Nashville from Arkansas, pick her up, and drive her to Dallas so she can get her affairs in order before the surgery. Then her brother and sister plan to return to Nashville to be with her during the surgery.

Third, the obvious “how can we help” question. Many of you have expressed a desire to go to her and given that she is returning to Dallas in a few days and that she is in a restricted visitor situation in ICU, Michelle has strongly recommended we not do that right now. There will very likely be ways we can support her financially since Cindy does not have medical insurance.

The hospital has supplied her with financial aid applications and told her not to worry about this in regards to her medical bills, but Maynard and I were thinking we may want to rally around some things like rent and utilities back here at home, especially while she is away in Nashville. She will also need someone to care for her dogs while she is away.

Of course the thing we can all do and is most important to do is pray. I think this email has lots of “prayer material” in it so let’s pray our hearts out – for decision making wisdom, for financial provisions, for doctor’s to treat and operate wisely, for Cindy to have supernatural trust and peace, for us to know how to come around her like the body of Christ is meant to, for God to be glorified …..

Cindy is in good spirits and Michelle told me she is in awe over how many people are loving on her through their concern and prayers.

Thanks to all of you for being part of her loving support team. I hope to have another update to send out tomorrow. Love,Sheryl B

Lady at the airport

On Sunday Tammy & I were catching our flight from Nashville back to Dallas.

We were getting into the elevator at the airport, laughing, luggage falling on the ground. When Tammy turned to the lady in the elevator and said, "she has a brain tumor". We both just laughed!!

The lady said, "I had one too, but they took it out"

I said, "I have a real peace about my tumor"

She asked, "Where is your peace from?"

I said, "From God!!!"

She said, "That is what I needed to hear from you" and she got off the elevator.

Tammy and I just looked at each other.... she was not catching a flight, she was an ANGEL!!!

Just another reminder that God was everywhere and even in an elevator in an airport!!!

Sept 17, 2007 Back in Dallas 11:00pm

Good morning Lord, it is 5am! Whether I wake up crying or at peace. I just want to wake up with YOU!!!!

Recapping the week:

• God brought me to Nashville: His exact Timing!!! One month later and I would be in Uganda, 2 days earlier and I would be in Dallas alone.
• God placed me in the home of Michelle who took care of everything; from getting me to ER and making all the decisions, who called, emailed, she took care of it ALL. Plus she surrounded me me with love and God's perspective on all of this!
• I went to Baptist Hospital where the BEST Nero Surgeon in the country will operate on me next week. The hospital itself ministered to me, so positive, being Jesus to me. Best staff ever!!!
• Support around me: the Bent Tree people, friends have been amazing. Going above and beyond. If it was 3 months earlier I not have even known them.
• Michelle has an elevator. Okay, who HAS an elevator in their home? She didn't even know why she had one, until I had the seizure and needed it to get down 2 flights of stairs.
• Tammy came to Nashville just so I wouldn't be alone and to fly with me back to Dallas!
• Some friend from my Life Group is watching my dogs. He loves them and so willing to stay as long as I need him.

HUGE blatant signs of God Everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel that God has so ordained this entire situation - place - time - everything for me. And I believe I will come out 100% physically, but more importantly He is doing a work in my heart - in my faith - in my relationship with Him. What a gift that He would pan out EVERYTHING for me. Kind of like a surprise party!!!

It's weird I was so tired when I went to bed last night, yet sleep doesn't come.

Today I read emails & got calls from friends from all over the US. many say what great faith I have. Yet, God you KNOW me, you know the really small faith I have had over the years. In the past I tried to convince myself that I was spiritual or had faith, but inside I know I am faithless.

But now God I feel like YOU have filled my heart with faith! To deny you working out all of this would be to deny your very existence.

Lord, I don't know what you have planned for me, but I KNOW whatever it is You will be glorified, You will be increased! Others will find faith in You!

Even as I read this, I am like, "who am I?" This is so not me! I'm not trying to be this way, it is just YOU in me!!! WOW!!!

Sept 16, 2007 Out of the hospital

I got out of the hospital today!!!

My friend, Tammy from Dallas flew up here last night to be with me. She said, "I didn't want you to be alone." Words are just really inadequate to express how much that means to me.

I am back at Michelle's house, and Tammy is staying with me and will fly back to Dallas with me tomorrow.

It is good to be here!

Two friends came over to Michelle's to see and pray for me. Bernadette from Dallas was in town for a conference, and then Karen the new friend I met on Tues. As we all sat around the table, we realized we had ALL been to Africa, we ALL had a burden for Africa and now here we were in Nashville together. (photo: Bernadette, Tammy, me, Michelle & Karen)

God, it will be exciting to see what YOU are going to do!!!

All of this is just another way You are showing me how much you love me and will take care of me. Thank you, God!!!

A good friend in Michelle

Journal entry Sept 15, 2007

Lord this week turned out nothing like I thought it would. It in one way over exceeded my expectations and in another way has blown me away!

Even though tears may fill my pillow each night, as fears and concerns fill my mind, Lord, I choose to lean on YOU and not my OWN understanding of this! You have a plan for me!

I don't know what I would have done without Michelle. She has so been here for me! She has not left my side the entire time in ICU. (except at night) She knew exactly what to do in ER. She took charge of everything. Called people for me, kept everyone posted on what's been going on. Keeping my spirits focused on YOUR plan for all of this!

She is definitely a life saver!!! Thank you God for her.

I am blessed

Journal Entry Sept 14, 2007 ICU

Dear Lord, thank you! this morning my nurse came in at 4:00am and I asked how she was. And she said, "I am blessed"

Yep, that sums it up! I am soooooo blessed! I am your child; I am at this amazing hospital who have taken such great care of me.

I have no insurance or money, yet they said "don't worry about it, you NEED this surgery and we will work something out!"

My ICU nuers Vicki said, "Cindy, God wants to take you to the next level in your faith"

When Fears Grip Sept 14, 2007

Journal entry: Sept 14, 2007 4:30am (from ICU)

At 4:00am I was awaken by the nurse. As she left I began to weep. Fears flooded my mind! All the "what ifs" and "whys"!

So I called Michelle and said, "Michelle, I need you to speak TRUTH to me!"

She said, "your battle is not flesh and blood, tumors or operations. We live in a fallen world and bad things happen to us. Not because God is mad at us or punishing us! Our battle is in the Heavenlys, it is Spirit, in the Heart and Mind."

We hung up and I began to read Ephesians 6
Stand Firm: Don't waiver! TRUST GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Put on:
Heart of Righteousness
Belt of Truth
Feet fitted firm
Shield of Faith
Helmet of Salvation: I KNOW nothing can change the fact of who GOD IS!!!
Sword of Spirit

Lord, when I don't see around the bend in the road, help me to KNOW you are already there!

Lord, thank you for bringing me here. You want to heal me, not only my physical body but my spiritual life!

It IS a TUMOR!!! Sept 13, 2007

I woke up early this morning to get ready to speak at the Christian Women in the Marketplace luncheon.

My leg was still numb, (thinking it was a pulled muscle) I got on the floor to stretch it out.

I went into a seizure on my entire right side of my body. I laid there not able to call for help, Michelle's house was too big for her to hear me, and my cell phone was on the other side of the room.

So I waited..... for 20 minutes for the seizure to stop.

I then crawled to my cell phone and called Michelle. Calmly I said, "Michelle can you come up here." No, I am HAVING A SEIZURE!!! No, HELP ME!!!! (what WAS I thinking?)

Shortly after she came up in time for the 2nd seizure. We were both still thinking it was a pulled muscle, so she ran and got a "Tiger Balm" (like an Icey Hot patch). She put it on my leg and almost as she did, she realized this was NOT going to work and ripped it off! OUCH!

She said, "we have to take you to the ER!" We had to wait 30 minutes until the second seizure stopped before we could go.

Thank God she HAD an elevator, I don't think I could have made it down all the stairs to the garage without it!!

As soon as I got in the car the 3rd seizure hit!

She drove me to Baptist Hospital, ran and got a nurse with a wheel chair. With the seizure still going full force, they put me in the wheelchair and rushed me into ER. In minutes they had me in a room, stripping me down, (yes in front of Michelle - did I mention I only had met her 2 times BEFORE my trip and it was over dinner each time, so wouldn't say we were close friends) they put gadgets all over me and an IV in my arm and got anti seizure meds in me QUICKLY.

After the seizure (which lasted over an hour) stopped, they took me in for a CAT scan.

The doctor came in and said, "Ms. Cunningham, you have a mass the size of a tennis ball on the left side of your brain!".......

....... What?......... Can I see a picture of it?........ Wow!! That is HUGE!!!!....... a TUMOR?.........

Laughter fillled my heart instead of fear gripping my heart. To the point that as they took me from ER to the ICU, the nuses thought my tumor was affecting the front part of my brain, and I was "not quite there". To which Michelle told them, "No, that is just how she is, and also she has a peace that God is in control!"

Sept 11, 2007 Before the tumor emerged

This journey begins in Nashville, Tennessee!

I was in Nashville visiting a new friend and talking to people about Village of Hope Uganda.

Notes from my journal on Sept 11, 2007

9-11, how it brings memories of 6 years ago when Steven (my nephew) was in Manhattan, at the base of the first tower. Wondering if he was alive or not. Those 5 hours untill we heard from him seemed like an eternity.

Steven may not have been a casualtiy that day, but 4 & 1/2 years later Steven died!

I flew to Nashville today where Michelle (picture on the right of me) picked me up at the airport. We immediately met with Karen (on the left) from Oregon. She is very interested in Village of Hope and possibly visiting the children next summer. This was the first time I had met Karen, yet there was a oneness with her, immediately. It was definately a divine appointment. (freaky, my leg and right side aren't working, I have no time for this)

After the meeting with Karen we headed to Michelle's house. Oh my Gosh, what a beautiful home! They even have an elevator. She said they had just moved here 6 weeks ago and not sure why they have an elevator, but "came with the place".

It is good being here. I feel at home immediately. I love their screened in porch! Not sure why but as soon as I got there, I felt tears streaming down my face. Maybe I feel God here...or just her sweet hospitality.

My mind and heart is flooded with so much: Stuff from Hawaii has been heavy on my heart, then 9-11 and then as I share about the children in Uganda it brings up all the pain and suffering I see.

AND WHAT IS UP WITH MY LEG??? It is not working???